SMORR - Southern Missouri Off Road Ranch

General Category => Off Topic => Topic started by: schrecengost on 06/11/10, 10:02AM

Title: The Blonde and a dog
Post by: schrecengost on 06/11/10, 10:02AM
The Blonde and the Dog
    -------------------------
   
    A blonde and her husband are lying in bed
    listening to the next door neighbor's dog.
    It has been in the backyard
    barking for hours and hours.
   
    The blonde jumps out of bed
    and says 'I've had enough of this,'
    and she goes downstairs.
   
    The blonde finally comes back up to bed
    and her husband says
    'The dog is still barking, what have you been doing?'
   
    The blonde says 'I put the dog in our backyard,
    let's see how THEY like it!'
   
Title: Re: The Blonde and a dog
Post by: willysman22 on 06/13/10, 02:33AM
Thats good! ;D Now I got one:
Once there was a man who loved to eat beans and fart.All he had in his cupboard was beans.One day he met a nice young woman whom he wanted to impress.After several dates-without any farts-his girlfriend decided to make bean soup for him.The man is blind -folded and led into the dining room,and he can hear her go into the kitchen,so he thinks he might as well let a couple go before dinner,so out rolls one after another,until he hears her starting to make her way back,so he stops and starts fanning the stench away from himself.She unties the blindfold and to his embarrassment,her parents and siblings are seated around the table.

Once in a small town ,there was this little ol' lady who was upset.She told her doctor that she had terrible gas,but it was silent and without odor.He writes her a prescription,and sends her on her way.The next week,she comes back,saying the farts are silent but now are staring to stink.The doctor says,"Well I guess we have cleared up your sinuses,now we will work on your hearing."

You might be a Redneck if:

You have bought a pregnantcy test and ammunition at the same time.

Visiting your relatives involves putting your truck in four-wheel-drive.

You have ever gotten stuck in your own driveway.

You whistle at women in church.

You get most of your dietary fiber from toothpicks.

Your toddler has more teeth than you do.

When "hodown" is yelled,all the women hit the floor.

There are enough beer cans in the bed of your truck to make a truck payment.